Manifestos. Everyone and their hairdresser has one these days. I think they are the business. For those of you who think that I sound like a Marxist, read the Holstee Manifesto to see what I am going on about. It’s an oldie but a goodie. You should probably also read Nicole Antoinette’s because it’s awesome. I decided that I would draw up my own manifesto as a gentle but enthusiastic reminder to keep myself on track to live a splendid life filled with deep meaning, jumping castles and stripping midgets, when all I sometimes want to do is eat carbohydrates in my bed in the dark while watching back to back episodes of Grimm. I am going to print out my manifesto and will stick it everywhere so that I can refer to it every hour of every day until I get bored. You are welcome to take away from it what you wish. 87% will probably not apply to you at all. One day you are going to die. Unless you suddenly start believing in reincarnation or someone drops a fridge on your head tomorrow you have about 3614 weeks* left to live. Be grateful for every single precious sweaty second. When you wake up in the morning, jump out of your bed like someone soaked it in whisky and set it on[...]
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